O Masterpiece
O Excellent
O Good
O OK
X Mediocrity
O Avoid
Review by Jason Pyles / August 18, 2008
This movie is called “The X-Files: I Want to Believe,†but it should be called “I Want to Believe This Is the X-Files,†or better yet: “I Don’t Want to Believe This Is the X-Files.â€
Rating the new “X-Files†sequel as mere mediocrity may seem harsh, but this movie utterly betrays the beloved television series that supposedly inspired it. Chris Carter should be a little ashamed of himself. The last time I heard of such an atrocity is when I learned that some animals eat their own babies. When I get this disappointed in a movie, sometimes I wish my mom had eaten me.
OK. Here’s the primary problem: Remember how the TV show was about the FBI’s “X-Files†(aka cases that were weird, unusual, paranormal, inexplicable, mysterious, seemingly supernatural, etc.)? Well, the only X-Files-ish element to this movie is that one guy is kind of psychic. Maybe. That’s it!
Otherwise, “I Want to Believe†is nothing more than a second-rate, police procedural, criminal investigation, murder-mystery thriller. This could have been a made-for-television Saturday afternoon TBS movie.
We pick up with our favorite FBI agents, Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny). But obviously time has passed because they’ve gone their separate ways; I’m being general intentionally: Readers have varying spoiler sensitivity when it comes to plot summaries. But I can say this much, the point A that we left off from when we last saw these two characters is definitely not a straight line to the point B that we pick up at again in this movie. Much has happened, but Carter never bothers to fill us in on it.
In short, in Somerset, W.Va., people start going missing and an occasional severed body part turns up here and there, thanks to a psychic-priest-pedophile (Billy Connolly), who assists the authorities in finding said body parts. Scully and Mulder investigate. We get a needless subplot about a sick kid. The main plot creeps along slowly but not creepily enough. It almost starts getting interesting â€" but no. The end. Thanks for everything, Chris.
The first feature-length motion picture called “The X-Files†was released in 1998. It wasn’t too bad, but it was also a kind of a let-down. It went downhill quickly after the initial bomb-in-the-vending-machine scene. That film was directed by Rob Bowman. “X-Files†fans everywhere awaited the series’ feature-length redemption. With this new movie, we got Chris Carter as the director, which was a hopeful sign considering he was the mastermind behind the successful series. Nope. Not this time, either.
Supposedly, this new one, it seemed, was very hush-hush. Remember? You hardly heard anything about it until a week before its release. … Now we know why. I can’t believe we waited 10 years for this.
Directed by Chris Carter
David Duchovny / Gillian Anderson / Billy Connolly
Mystery / Thriller 104 min.
MPAA: PG-13 (for violent and disturbing content and thematic material)
U.S. Release Date: July 25, 2008
Copyright 2008: 306
O Excellent
O Good
O OK
X Mediocrity
O Avoid
Review by Jason Pyles / August 18, 2008
This movie is called “The X-Files: I Want to Believe,†but it should be called “I Want to Believe This Is the X-Files,†or better yet: “I Don’t Want to Believe This Is the X-Files.â€
Rating the new “X-Files†sequel as mere mediocrity may seem harsh, but this movie utterly betrays the beloved television series that supposedly inspired it. Chris Carter should be a little ashamed of himself. The last time I heard of such an atrocity is when I learned that some animals eat their own babies. When I get this disappointed in a movie, sometimes I wish my mom had eaten me.
OK. Here’s the primary problem: Remember how the TV show was about the FBI’s “X-Files†(aka cases that were weird, unusual, paranormal, inexplicable, mysterious, seemingly supernatural, etc.)? Well, the only X-Files-ish element to this movie is that one guy is kind of psychic. Maybe. That’s it!
Otherwise, “I Want to Believe†is nothing more than a second-rate, police procedural, criminal investigation, murder-mystery thriller. This could have been a made-for-television Saturday afternoon TBS movie.
We pick up with our favorite FBI agents, Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny). But obviously time has passed because they’ve gone their separate ways; I’m being general intentionally: Readers have varying spoiler sensitivity when it comes to plot summaries. But I can say this much, the point A that we left off from when we last saw these two characters is definitely not a straight line to the point B that we pick up at again in this movie. Much has happened, but Carter never bothers to fill us in on it.
In short, in Somerset, W.Va., people start going missing and an occasional severed body part turns up here and there, thanks to a psychic-priest-pedophile (Billy Connolly), who assists the authorities in finding said body parts. Scully and Mulder investigate. We get a needless subplot about a sick kid. The main plot creeps along slowly but not creepily enough. It almost starts getting interesting â€" but no. The end. Thanks for everything, Chris.
The first feature-length motion picture called “The X-Files†was released in 1998. It wasn’t too bad, but it was also a kind of a let-down. It went downhill quickly after the initial bomb-in-the-vending-machine scene. That film was directed by Rob Bowman. “X-Files†fans everywhere awaited the series’ feature-length redemption. With this new movie, we got Chris Carter as the director, which was a hopeful sign considering he was the mastermind behind the successful series. Nope. Not this time, either.
Supposedly, this new one, it seemed, was very hush-hush. Remember? You hardly heard anything about it until a week before its release. … Now we know why. I can’t believe we waited 10 years for this.
Directed by Chris Carter
David Duchovny / Gillian Anderson / Billy Connolly
Mystery / Thriller 104 min.
MPAA: PG-13 (for violent and disturbing content and thematic material)
U.S. Release Date: July 25, 2008
Copyright 2008: 306
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